Avatar Portal's

Avatar Renaissance Championships

Battle #7: Earth Kingdom FanFic One-Shots

This was set up by ScarletCougar and judged by her as well.

Winners are as follows:

Flam with her Long Feng story in 3rd place

Uncle Iroh with his tragic Refugees story in 2nd place

Avatar Azula with her story about Joo Dee in 1st place

 RULES

Write a short one-shot fanfic focusing on a lesser known Earth Kingdom character (NO Toph tales).

Must be a MINIMUM of 500 words MAXIMUM of 2500 words.

ONLY the Writing Team members may post (meaning 3 entries per Nation)

TIME LIMIT:

Submission are to be in the THREAD. I will stop accepting submissions on Saturday night July 21st at 11pm EST.

WINNERS:          

AVATAR AZULA: Tales of ???         

UNCLE IROH  :  My Little Girl        

FLAM  : Climbing the Steps of Success

Tales of ??? (by Avatar Azula) ~1216 words ~ 1^st Place

Ok. This is for the earth kingdom.

Number of Words: 1216
Name of Character: Read to find out. It is a surprise!
Episodes Character Appeared In: City of Walls and Secrets; Lake Laogai

Enjoy!

 It was a bright, sunny morning in Ba Sing Se, the city of peace and prosperity. It was a busy day in the lower ring for many new refugees had recently arrived. Through the market walked a girl around the age of nineteen. She had shoulder length, brown hair and big beautiful eyes. As she was studying the produce at a fruit stand, she overheard one the refugees speaking.

“I’m tellin’ ya, it’s hell out there with Fire Nation scum marchin’ round ready to take ya away to jail. It’s war. The Earth Kingdom’s lucky to have lasted this long cause of that wall a yours.”

The produce merchant saw the girl listening and said, “Don’t listen to him Yori. He’s just one of those new refugees. He must have been out in the sun too long and got a little heat stroke. Don’t you worry about any war, there’s no such thing.”

“But how do you know? Refugees come in all the time talking about a make-believe war that’s going on outside these walls. One day, I’d like to leave Ba Sing Se and see what they are really talking about,” Yori replied. She had always been a curious girl and always wondered what else was in the world besides Ba Sing Se.

“Now don’t you start getting those thoughts in your head young lady. You grew up here in Ba Sing Se and people expect you to stay. People never leave the city,” replied the man.

Suddenly, everyone around Yori started to move around in a panic. Yori tried to get through the crowd and once she did she saw two men in long green robes and wide-brimmed hats grab the old refugee.

“Unhand me ya yellow-bellied, elbow-leechin’, hog monkeys! What do ya think you’re doin’?”

“We are putting you under arrest for disturbing the peace,” said one of the officers.

Once the man spoke, Yori understood what was going on. The Dai Li was arresting this old man for talking about that war!

“NO! You can’t do that! This old man has done nothing wrong!” shouted Yori.

At her words, the two Dai Li agents turned and looked at Yori. One of the men let the old man go and thrust his earthen covered hands at her. Her hands were pulled behind her back and were encased in rock handcuffs.

“If you believe this man so much, maybe you need to be taken in as well,” said the agent. He walked up to her, grabbed her roughly by the shoulders, and dragged her away toward the upper ring.

.:|:.

Yori was trust into a chair inside a dark room.

“Where am I?” she shouted.

“You are Ba Sing Se… where you are safe,” responded a calm voice.

A young man walked forward holding a candle in his hand. Around him was a hoop of metal with a small candle holder set in front of Yori. The man set the candle inside and then did some complicated movements with his hands. Earth wrapped itself around Yori’s wrists, waist, and forehead not allowing her to move. Slowly, the hoop started turning at an even pace around the man.

“There is no war. There is no war within the walls.”

The light flashed in her eyes.

“You are here, in Ba Sing Se.”

Another flash. Yori was beginning to feel dizzy.

“There is no war within the walls. Here we are free.”

Yori suddenly didn’t feel like Yori anymore. Her pupils got small and her face had a blank look upon it. The earth holding her in her seat slowly shrank into the chair leaving Yori sitting without restraints.

“Stand up and follow me,” said the young man.

Yori slowly stood and did as she was told. The man led her outside to a carriage that had two ostrich horses at the head. An older man stood beside the door as if he was waiting for them to arrive.

“We have another one for Lake Laogai. Orders from the top,” said the once calm young man.

“Whatever… Just get her in the carriage,” replied the old man. “I don’t have all day.”

Yori was lead into the carriage and once she was inside, the door was closed behind her.

.:|:.

It was a long bumpy ride to… where ever she was going. Personally, she had no idea where this so called Lake Laogai was, and she really didn’t care. She was just enjoying the ride when it suddenly ended. The carriage door opened and the old man was there.

“Come on, come on. Hurry up. We have to do this quickly you know,” he said.

Yori slowly stood and stepped out into the cool air. She then followed the old man to what appeared to be the edge of a lake. She watched as the man turned so that his side was facing the lake’s edge. He quickly jumped up and landed with his feet apart and his arms thrown out. As a result, a small earthen bridge appeared with a hole at the end large enough for someone to crawl into.

“Follow me,” he said gruffly to Yori.

She followed him along the bridge and down the hole into a room that seemed to be under the lake. The two of them went down a long hall with doors lining the sides. About half way through, the two of them stopped in front of one of the doors. The old man knocked five times, pausing slightly in between the second and third. Suddenly, a small slit appeared in the door revealing bright green eyes.

“Yes?” said what appeared to be another man on the other side of the door.

“I have another one for that crazy program of yours.”

“Oh really? Good, good. We have been running short with all the visitors we have been having. Bring her in. I want to have a good look at her.”

The door slowly opened revealing yet another Dai Li agent. The older man shoved Yori inside and slammed the door shut.

“Well, well… what have we here? About five foot seven, shoulder length brown hair, neat and clean… You will do nicely. What is your name?” asked the agent.

“My name is Yori,” she replied in a voice that was unlike hers.

“That is a nice name… but I’m afraid that I can’t allow you to keep it. From now on your name is… Joo Dee. Understand?” stated the man.

“Yes,” Yori replied.

“Now what is your name again?”

“My name is Joo Dee.”

“Very good.”

.:|:.

It had been four months since Yori, or Joo Dee, had been arrested and taken to Lake Laogai. She was now being put to the test out in Ba Sing Se. She had been given orders to greet someone at the train station and keep close eye on them.

As the train arrived she stood completely still with an unnatural grin on her face. As the train pulled away she saw who she was there to greet… four young children.

She walked toward them and said, “Hello, my name is Joo Dee. I have been given the great honor of showing the Avatar around Ba Sing Se. And you must be Sokka, Katara, and Toph. Welcome to our wonderful city. Shall we get started?”

Fin.

SC's First Notation Review
Good story about Joo Dee. I wonder if the old man arrested in the beginning was a set-up to get Yori. I did note one spelling error. Your grammar was excellent otherwise.

SC's Second Notation Review
I still really like this story. Fantastic tie in with the Gaang. It flows smoothly and is easy to read. Great work! So far is my top choice!

SC's Final Notations
Excellent pace and a smooth lead into the ending. My winning choice. Congrats!!

My Little Girl (by Uncle Iroh) ~1689 words ~ 2^nd Place

Random character and his daughter from Ba Sing Se

Early morning in Ba Sing Sei: merchants setting up shop, a few people shuffling off to work; another morning, another day. A huge red Sun began to make its way over the distant horizon, spreading light all through out the city. The puddles in the streets began to glow and the previously dark alleyways became lit. It is here where the light hit upon two bodies: one male, one female; a father and a daughter.

The intense rays of the Sun made Ze grimace in annoyance. Just a few more hours of sleep is all I ask for… he said to himself. He turned his head in the other direction to get the Sun out of his eyes, and into his eyes came his little girl: Thea. She was turning seven in only a few days, and yet she looked like she was four. Her body was skinny and frail, the result of a virus residing in her stomach. Ze was too poor to seek medical attention for her in the Middle Ring, he could only try to help her through various herbs he had obtained in exchange for his own daily meals. As a result, the virus has continued to sap her of most of her body fat, and no matter how much she eats, when she does anyway, she can never gain any meat to her bones. She was faring far worse than Ze, even though he had little to his body as well. He put his hand into her hair and began to run his fingers through the strands. “My little Thea…”

“Yes, Daddy?”

Her response surprised him, he didn’t expect her to be awake so early. She turned to him and gave a little smile. A big smile came across his face as well.

“Nothing, sweetheart.”

“Daddy I’m hungry, I want breakfast.”

The smile began to disappear from his face, but hers remained. His stomach began to pain him, not from hunger but from butterflies. He had no money on him, and yet he couldn’t let his daughter go hungry. He looked away for a second in thought. Where on earth kingdom am I going to get it today? His face was known to many vendors in the lower ring, most all of whom considered him a thief. But he had no choice, he had to find something. He put his hand on his knees to support him while he stood up. He looked down at Thea and reached to pick her up. She put her arms out and grabbed on. He lifter her up to his chest and smiled down at her.

“Let’s go get some food!”

Her face lit up in excitement.

“Yay!”

They stepped out into the street to see that most of the merchants had set up for the morning rush already. As Ze walked down the street many gave him a dirty look. Some muttered under their breath while he walked by. Peasant. Thief. Dirt-Eater. The list went on. After a half hour of walking, he wasn’t able to find any vendor friendly enough to not even look down on him. He looked down at Thea and saw her eyes looking around the street.

“Daddy, why do all these people say bad things about you?”

“They just don’t understand, honey.”

She gave him a puzzled expression.

“Understand what?”

He stopped for a moment in his tracks.

“What it’s like to survive instead of just live.”

“What?”

He smiled down at her.

“Don’t worry, I’ll explain it when your older.”

She began to look back towards the street when her stomach gave off a loud growl.

“Daddy I’m-“

“Don’t worry Thea I’m getting you food right now, sweetie.”

He looked up to the huge white wall which separated the inner and outer rings. I guess I’ll have to raid a farm today for food. Small entrances dotted the wall, each guarded by two Earth Kingdom soldiers. He walked towards one in front of him when he one of the soldiers order him to stop.

“State your business.”

“I’m going to the outer ring to visit my brother.”

“Hog monkeys. A peasant like you with a brother with land? Get out of here.”

Ze looked down at Thea. He couldn’t deny her of food again, she already missed dinner the night before. All he could think about was what she was going through.”

“Please, sir, all I ask is for you to let me through the wall, I need to get through!”

“I said ge-“

The second soldier stopped him.

“Let them go, Private. He’s not going to hurt anyone in his condition.”

“But Sir!”

“I said let them pass, Private. Now.”

“Yes Sir, Sergeant.”

Ze gave a half smile as he began to walk through the opening.

“Thank you both…”

I was lucky this time…

As he emerged to the other side of the wall the vast expanses of farm and rock came into view. A man came into view plowing his field with his lone ostridge-horse. Then from the distance Ze heard grunting and rocks colliding. He squinted his eyes to see the image of a child learning to earth bend. His father was trying to show him how to lift a rock out of the ground. If only I knew as much as that father did, then I could find some way to feed Thea every day…. Ze learned that he could earthbend almost a year before, during an encounter with a couple ruffians threatening him and Thea. He knew he had a great-grandfather who knew how to bend, but all his life Ze figured he hadn’t received those genes. He was terrible at bending as a child. But now he had a reason to bend, whereas as a child it was simply for fun, now he did it to try to protect his own fresh and blood.

Ze looked around for a bountiful farm with no sign of people near it. After a quick look around he saw one next to the wall only a few hundred yards away. Thea began to cry.

“Daddy…..”

“I know sweetie, just two more minutes, okay?”

She sniffeled. The hunger gripped her body hard and it wouldn’t let go. All she could do was cry.

“Okay…..”

Ze began to run towards the farm desperate to get his daughter some food, any food. He ran through the sowed fields towards a patch of waterberries. He knelt down and grabbed handfuls from the vines and stuffed them into his pockets, taking the ripest ones from the bunch and putting them in Thea’s mouth. She ate each one with a smile on her face. Relieved, Ze sat down on the ground and picked a couple for himself. For a peasant’s farm, these are really good! Suddenly from the distance, a whistle. Ze turned towards the wall to find two guards rushing towards him. Ze grabbed Thea and began running towards an acre of corntrees in the east. Maybe I can find some way to escape from them in there.

“Daddy where are we going!?”

“Don’t worry right now Te, just hang on.”

When Ze was only a few feet from the acre, he heard more whistles coming from the the trees. He dug his feet into the ground and dragged to a stop. He began to run in the direction opposite the wall, making a run for the outer ring train station. His only way out of trouble was out of Ba Sing Sei. But the station was well over a quarter of a mile away, and Ze could only run so far with what little strength he had. But he wouldn’t let his legs stop working for the cargo in his arms was too precious.

Ze ran with all he could towards the distant station, and luck appeared to be running with him. The guards were having a hard time catching up with their armor and weapons, and so Ze knew he had a chance to make it to the station before he could be caught. But as Ze began to approach the station, luck suddenly fell away from him; Ze heard more whistles, this time coming from the station itself. Ze slowly tapered to a stop. He dropped to the ground with Thea in his arms, he was completely out of strength.

“Daddy, what’s wrong?”

Ze turned to Thea, still breathing heavily. He looked at her little green eyes in her sunken eye sockets, her pale cheeks, small nose, and her brown-blond hair kicked up with the wind in the wind. He heard the sound of whistles coming closer and closer in the background. This may be the last time he sees her eyes and face…. Surrender means he’d surely be put in prison for years, but he was too tired to fight. No…. I must… fight…. I must….. protect…. Ze placed Thea on the ground and stood up.

“Te, stay right here, Daddy has to do something.”

Ze turned to walk away when Thea began to get up from the ground.

“But Daddy I-“

Ze stopped walking for a moment.

“Thea! Stay right where you are!”

The guards surrounded him on one side, Ze with Thea behind him and the guards in front of him.

“For the crime of trespassing, stealing, and-“

Ze: “Don’t you tell me what I did was a crime! This poor girl has suffered enough in this society!”

“Don’t you dare interrupt me! Seize him!”

The guards rushed towards him, with two of them grabbing hold of his arms. Ze shrugged them off and threw his fists into the ground, shooting up pillars of rock and sending the guards flying into the air. Two more rushed towards him, he slammed his foot into the ground and a wall of rock threw the guards back. The lone standing soldier ran to grab Thea, and Ze charged him. He jumped into the air and slammed his fist into the ground, creating a pillar, and then smashed the pillar with his other hand, crushing into the soldier.

From the ground, exhausted, he muttered to himself.

“No one…. Touches…. My little girl….”

SC's Fist Notation Review
Good story. Moving and sad. Can you tell me which scene you picked this character from? Or is he and the child completely made up?

SC's Second Notation Review
This is still a great story and well edited. I would like to have been able to more readily identify the character, however. I am strongly thinking considering this for first or second place.

SC's Final Notations
Still deeply moving. The beginning is a bit sudden but it smoothes out nicely. The end does seem a bit rushed and I think it could have been addressed better. This is my second runner up. Congrats!

Climbing the Steps of Success (by Flam) ~2494 words ~ 3^rd Place

My story features Long Feng: the head of the Dai Li and source of several of the Gaang's problems in Ba Sing Se. It starts out in the Earth King's palace a few weeks before Aang's arrival. However, most of the story is in a flashback. Word count is at the barely eligible 2499 words. I had to do my share of editing. Hope you like it!

Long Feng finally arrived at the entrance to the Earth King's throne room. It had been a long day. The Dai Li had to carry out yet another hypnotism session. There was a constant flow of refugees in the last few months; it was almost impossible to control. But Long Feng could handle it--he could handle anything.

The Earth King had called for him moments ago. Though he was supposed to be quite powerful, he was easily fooled. The entire city of Ba Sing Se was under the Dai Li's control, under Long Feng's control. Everything was going quite well.

He took care to put on his "happy to serve you" expression before opening the door. "You called for me, Your Grace?" he said as he approached the Earth King.

"Indeed, I did, Long Feng. I would like for you to keep Bosco company while I have tea in the gardens." As the Earth King said this, he looked fondly at his pet bear and scratched behind its ears.

Behind Long Feng's cordial expression, he felt his frustration rise at the thought of bear-sitting. After all, he was a top government official. One would think he had surpassed such trivial duties. His muscles tensed as he addressed the king again. "But, My Lord, I thought for sure you would have the bear--"

He was interrupted by the King. "Bosco," he corrected not removing his gaze from the bear's beady eyes.

"Yes, of course. I thought for sure you would have him accompany you," Long Feng finished.

The Earth King finally turned his full attention to his advisor. "Yes, but poor Bosco hurt his paw yesterday while walking with me. I would never force my sweet Bosco to strain himself just so that I may have someone with whom to share tea! Why, the thought is simply absurd!" The bear grunted inanely.

The anger crept into the pit of Long Feng's stomach. It nearly always was this way when he spoke with the king. A fool had foolish desires. "Of course it is, Your Majesty. I would never dream of causing Bosco any inconvenience. But is there a reason why you called for me to entertain him?" Although this question had originally been thought of as a shout or an insult, Long Feng managed to speak it in a sweet and polite voice.

The Earth King hardly seemed to care what tone of voice Long Feng used. He stood abruptly and answered casually, "As you know, Long Feng, you are my most trusted advisor. As such, I think it best that you spend more quality time with Bosco. You two could really get to know each other while I'm gone."

Long Feng tried to protest, but the Earth King waved him off. "Bosco already had his meal and snack. He should be quite fine until I return. Good day to you, Long Feng." As he passed by Long Feng, the advisor made a low bow. Then the door closed behind him, and the room was silent.

After several moments, Long Feng turned to the bear. "I know what you're thinking: this is the strangest job I have ever received."

The bear grunted blankly.

Long Feng continued, "Well, you're wrong. This is the second strangest job I have ever received. The strangest one happened to be when I was about seventeen. I had my first official job. My employer, a strange man, told my friend and me to destroy a cart of cabbages that belonged to a man he didn't like. An interesting experience it was. Of course, that job was back when I was a care free child. Though I had no family, I did have friends. My best friend back then was a kind boy called Dojo..."

 

*****

"We were quite the pair, actually. I was always the serious and determined young man, but Dojo--everything came naturally to him. He was smart, friendly, and good-looking. I was always following in his shadow. He was the one who suggested me for that crazy job in the first place. He even took the liberty of telling me all about his conversation with the boss.

"One day, he had approached his boss, Mr. Demo (though we called him Mr. Demon) and said, 'Sir, I understand that you are looking for a second assistant. With things as hectic as they are, I agree with you one hundred percent. And I know just the guy you should hire too. He's a great worker and a good friend of mine!'

"'The old man had turned to him and replied, 'Is that so, Dojo? Very well, and who is this friend of yours?'

"'His name is Long Feng, sir,' he had said. 'He's a message boy from the Lower Ring, sir, but I know he can excel at work here in the Middle Ring too! Please accept him!'

"The Old Demon had been quiet for a long while. Then, 'You are sure he is a good worker and not some beggar boy meant for nothing more than back-breaking work for the rest of his life?'

"From that point of Dojo's report, I knew I would hate that man with all of my being. But Dojo and I both knew I needed the job, so he had replied, 'Yes!' It was all that needed to be said.

"'Fine then. But the moment he slips up, I'll throw him out faster than he can say cactus juice!'

"And so, I was recruited, and the job began. It was odd, for being Mr. Demo's assistant was a far different experience than any other. Even though the man worked for a small government office as an auditor, he would send us out to do crazy errands. Most of them were little whims he wanted carried out immediately for no reason at all. I can't say how many times I had to go out and get him a drink. Of course, Dojo thought it was all an adventure. He thought it was interesting how anyone could have such an exciting job. But it never did get boring."
 

*****

Long Feng took a seat on the steps leading up to the throne. The bear's bed was located right next to where the king rested. The adviser gave Bosco a suspicious look. He couldn't help but hope for a more intelligent reply than what followed...

The bear grunted blankly. Long Feng shifted his gaze to the Earth Kingdom banners that hung on all the walls. They shone a light green against a darker one. He sighed. "It is too bad that it is all in the past now."

The bear grunted again.

Long Feng's expression hardened. "Why am I confiding my most precious memories to a bear?" he asked himself out loud.

The bear growled angrily.

"Oh well. It doesn't matter anyway. I suppose you want to know what happened between Dojo and me." A part of Long Feng actually wanted to tell someone, even if it was just a bear.

This time, the bear returned to its usual blank grunt. Long Feng, however, took it as a request for him to continue.

He turned back to the bear. "If you insist. I have to keep you entertained anyway."
 

*****

"It all started one day when we were cleaning Mr. Demon's office. I was just about to get to work on his desk top when Dojo spoke.

"'You think Mr. Demon is the type of guy to have strange secret fetishes?' he asked slyly. Dojo was as nosy as he was handsome. A quick look at his thick, curly hair, button nose, and firm jaw reminded me that he was very nosy.

"'The man is mad, after all. I wouldn't be surprised," I said, dismissing it and moving on to the desk.

"Dojo produced a small book that had been lying on top of one of the Demon's cupboards. He flipped it open to the title page. 'Fantastic Plants of the Desert,' he read. 'I bet he has more too.' Dojo searched one of the file cabinets.

"'Dojo! Stop! What if the Old Demon sees you snooping in his stuff?' I asked in a hushed voice. I was not the type to risk my job over some silly curiosity about my boss's secret obsessions...but Dojo was.

"'Come on, Long Feng, you have to look at this!' Dojo cried. Irritated, I rolled my eyes and approached my friend.

"He was brandishing a poster with several creases in it for being folded over many times. It had the picture of a potted cactus. Big, bold green letters read across the top: Cactus Juice: Refreshing Drink or Delirium Inducing Drug?

"I could not help myself. I burst out laughing. As I wiped a tear from my eye, the door to the office crashed open. In the arch of the door stood our boss: Yu Demo. My heart jumped into my throat.

"When he realized what was going on, Demo gritted his teeth in a furious expression. I had always been his least favorite employee. His face turned a deep purple as he yelled, 'Long Feng! How dare you laugh at my private fantasies?!'

"I braced myself for any sort of impact. Then Dojo spoke in a calm tone, 'Sir, it was not Long Feng's fault. I persuaded him to leave his work and come look at what I had uncovered. I apologize.'

"Mr. Demo slowly cooled down. Dojo, on the other hand, was his favorite employee. He said almost sweetly, 'Well, Dojo, I'll let it slide this time, but the next time you ignore your duties, there will be consequences.' I hated that about my boss. If I made any type of mistake, he would fire me, but no matter what Dojo did, he was never punished.

"'Now then, as I was about to tell you all, my good friend from the Upper Ring has told me he has an open job for under secretary in his department. I am much too old to take the job, but I told him that I would be happy to suggest one of my aides for the position,' he said excitedly.

"'He agreed?' asked Dojo.

"Demo smirked. 'Yes, yes! That is right, Dojo. So, I decided to give you both a chance to receive this great opportunity. You see: there is a big party to be held at the Earth King's palace in a few days for the birth of the new prince. I have been invited on the condition that I provide a waiting staff. So, you two will be bussing the entire shindig. Whoever has the best performance will be given the promotion.'

"I turned to my friend at that moment. We would have to compete against each other for the promotion. We both needed it more than anything. And we both would do anything to get it. When the Old Demon had left the room for us to start cleaning again Dojo spoke, 'You know, we should do our best.'

"'What do you mean?' I asked.

"'The party. We should both do our best and let the best waiter win,' Dojo said happily. It was so simple for him to know what to do. But it was much harder to do it.

"I took my time before replying to him. It was sad really: Dojo was the only friend I had, and I didn't want to compete with him for the job. Besides, I knew he would probably win. So I built up my courage and said, 'Yes, may the best waiter win.' And we shook hands.

"The night of the party had arrived. Many wealthy citizens and governments officials had come to see the new baby prince. Amongst them, Dojo and I felt like common rocks in a sea of rare jewels. The night would be a long one.

"When the baby finally arrived, Dojo was called over by the Earth King. I watched from afar. 'Bus boy,' he said in a rough yet royal voice, 'more earth juice for my son.'

"Dojo replied, 'Right away, Your Majesty.'

"As he hurried toward a juice table, the little prince dropped a small toy rattle. A horrible idea popped into my head, and I soon gave in to its evil. I approached the small rattle as the baby began to cry for his toy. Nobody saw me as I kicked it in Dojo's path. I smiled to myself as I watched my friend trip over it and lose hold of the bottle of earth juice.

"Time slowed for us all when we saw the bottle go sailing through the air. When he realized his mistake, Dojo yelled, 'No!' But it was too late. The glass bottle of juice came smashing down onto the royal family. The king, the queen, and the prince were all thoroughly soaked.

"As the baby cried, the king whirled onto Dojo. 'How dare you?! How dare you?!' He seemed unable to say anything else.

"Mr. Demo came rushing up to the scene. This was when I stepped in as well. He looked from Dojo to my appearance and realized there was no way to pin this incident on me. 'I apologize, Your Highness, I had no idea my waiter was so clumsy!'

"'Out! Both of you! And take your other waiter with you!' the king yelled in fury.

"We hurried out, but on the way, Demo asked me, 'What happened, Long Feng?'

"It was my chance. I could either tell the truth, save Dojo, and remain Demo's assistant forever, or I could lie, condemn Dojo, and climb the first step on the stairway of success. I chose quickly.

"'Sir, Dojo was tired of his shift and deliberately threw that bottle at the royal family in anger,' I said. When Dojo heard this, he simply stared at me. He was probably shocked that I had taken advantage of him.

"'Dojo, is this true?' Demo asked my friend.

Dojo seemed to have lost his spirit, for he did not reply.

"'Very well, then. I have no choice but to let you go and give the job to Long Feng. I'm sorry, my boy.'

"And so it happened. Dojo never spoke to me again. Of course, then I was living in the Middle Ring and commuting to work in the Upper Ring. My life was on track, so it was worth a few broken souls."

*****

Long Feng gazed back at the bear. "But I didn't need friendship back then. What I needed was a good job, and that's what I got. And look at me now, I'm in a wonderful position for a man who started out as a message boy in the Lower Ring. What do you think?" He turned to the bear.

It yawned and smacked Long Feng on the back with one of its massive paws. As the man fell over from the force of the blow, he muttered, "I hate animals."

The End

SC's First Notation Review
Well edited, though I spotted an error here and there. The story was great! Nice insight into Long Feng. You kept his character well.

SC's Second Notation Review
I am still pleased with this story. Its small errors that should have been easily caught by someone else doing a read through are a shame. It may be my second or third winning choice.

SC's Final Notations
Still like this story, but it did not grip me as well as I hoped. This places third among the winner. Congrats!